


Morning Blues

by Aluxra



Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Originally Posted on Tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 10:05:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11377953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aluxra/pseuds/Aluxra
Summary: Jack has always hated mornings.





	Morning Blues

**Author's Note:**

> Second cross post from tumblr to AO3. Originally for Jackrabbit week 2016, the prompt was "Morning"
> 
> [Original posted](http://aluxra.tumblr.com/post/141855942387/morning): Mar 28th, 2016

Jack jolted awake; asleep one moment and in a blink of an eye, wide awake and alert. He drew a sharp breath into his lungs, the cool morning air prickling his throat like shards of ice. Cold grey-blue sunlight filtered through the window, sending long, narrow shafts of light across the wooden floorboards. He rolled onto his side, curling himself into a ball and rubbing his chest to try easing the heavy ache that had settled in it. It was an old ache, one that hadn’t bothered him in some time: now it had awakened with a vengeance, bringing with it the fear and panic and hopelessness with it.

He hated mornings.

Mornings meant the start of another long, lonely day to aimlessly wander through. Mornings meant trudging through the hours without being seen or heard, desperately trying to make  _anything_  work; mornings meant hoping today would be different only to be crushed by the realisation that nothing changed. Mornings meant the end of the peace that sleep provided, pulled away from him like a rug out from under his feet. Mornings meant having to try again, and again, and again.

He curled in on himself tighter, hiding his face in his hand as an old sadness reared up inside him, enveloping him in a coldness that didn’t belong to him, didn’t come from him, couldn’t be controlled by him. He inhaled sharply, air hissing through his clenched teeth, his jaw twitching with the force he had on it, trying to keep his breath steady. The corners of his eyes grew wet, tiny droplets beading on his eyelashes and slipping down his temple. His breath hitched, and he wiped his eye with the heel of his palm, trying to calm the old fear that gnawed at his insides.

It didn’t work, panicked obsession clouding his mind till he couldn’t think of anything else: he had to get up, he had to move, he couldn’t waste time doing nothing, what if today was the day he succeeded? What if he could get someone to see him today? His skin tingled with restless energy, his heart hammering in his chest till he could hear the thunderclap of every beat in his ears. His breath hitched, the same argument raging in his mind, back and forth. Every morning meant another attempt, every morning for over a hundred, two hundred, three hundred years meant the attempt before had failed and he had to try again. He didn’t want to go through another disappointment.

He couldn’t settle: his body wanted to move, and he finally gave in to the overwhelming demands in his mind. Slipping out from under the covers, he searched for his clothes (all over the floor) and his staff (in the corner by the door). He gathered everything in his arms, dressing himself as quickly and as quietly as he could.

‘Jack?’

He jumped, startled, his hoodie held in his hands as he whirled around, and saw Bunny sitting up in bed, rubbing his eyes with the back of one hand.

‘Jack, y'alright, mate?’ he murmured, his voice rougher than normal, gravelly from sleep. ‘What’s going on?’

‘Nothing,’ Jack whispered quickly. He swallowed around the lump in his throat, his heartbeat slowing in his chest. ‘I didn’t mean to wake you.’

‘Jack, it’s still early,’ Bunny said, keeping his voice low and blinking the remnants of sleep from his eyes. He looked around the dimly lit room, before his gaze settled back on Jack. ‘What are you doing?’

‘It’s nothing,’ Jack repeated, shaking his head. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘Nothing t’ be sorry about,’ Bunny replied, his brow furrowed in worry. His ears flicked forward, his nose twitching as if trying to catch a faint wisp of an elusive scent. ‘Jack, what’s going on?’

‘Nothing, I promise.’ He wiped his hand over his face, trying to subtly remove the dampness from his cheeks. Bunny’s eyes narrowed, and he was out of bed in the blink of an eye, standing in front of Jack with his hands on his shoulders.

‘Jack, what was it?’ he asked, gentle but firm. ‘Was it Pitch? A nightmare? Do we need to get the Guardians?’

‘No! No, no, no,’ Jack stammered, shaking his head. He clutched his hoodie tighter in his hands, his knuckles turning white. ‘Bunny, it’s nothing. There’s no… I don’t need… It’s  _fine,_  I’m fine, I just need… I…’

The overwhelming rush of emotion swallowed him, and he buried his face in his hoodie, hiding his face. Strong arms wrapped around him, pulling him close to a warm chest with thick, soft fur; Jack could hear the heartbeat against his ear, strong and steady. A large hand rubbed slow, soothing circles between his shoulder blades, warm breath ghosting through his hair as quiet words were murmured, too low for him to properly hear over his hitching breath and loud sniffles.

‘I’m sorry,’ he murmured into the thick ruff on Bunny’s chest, and he felt Bunny shake his head above him. ‘It’s stupid, it’s so stupid.’

‘It’s clearly upsetting you,’ Bunny said, tucking Jack under his chin. ‘I don’t think that’s stupid. Talk t' me.’

There was a pause, and Jack sucked in a rattling breath. ‘Back… Back before I became a Guardian, when I wasn’t, when I couldn’t be… It’s always the same. Every morning, I always have to go through the same thing over and over and over again and I… I just… I need to do something, I need to try to be seen, I need to make people believe in me. If I waste time, I might miss an opportunity. If I waste time then it’s my fault; it’s my fault for not trying harder, for not doing more. I can’t be too tired to try again, I can’t be too upset to give it another shot: if I do nothing, then I’ll always be tired and upset and alone and it’ll be on me.’

Bunny didn’t say anything, just kept rubbing circles across his back. Jack swallowed around a hiccup, burying his face in Bunny’s ruff.

‘I  _know_  it’s different now,’ he said. ‘I know I’m being stupid. I know I’m not alone. I don’t know what’s wrong with me… I’m just being stupid. I’m sorry.’

They lapsed into silence; Jack stayed clinging to Bunny, the heat from him seeping into Jack, down to his bones till he felt too warm, but still he didn’t try to move away. Bunny’s breath ghosted through his hair, the pads of his fingers scratching against his bare skin. He shifted above Jack, tilting his head so he could look down at Jack.

‘We can go visit Burgess today, hang out with the kids for a while: it’s their holidays, they’d love to see you,’ Bunny suggested. Jack shook his head, guilt bubbling up his throat.

‘You don’t have to do that, not for me.’

‘I  _want_  to do that for you,’ Bunny replied. He nudged Jack away, and brought one hand up to cup his cheek, tilting his head up till their eyes locked. ‘I want to know you’re okay. I want to make sure you’re okay. I want you to let me.’

Jack said nothing, staring into Bunny’s luminous eyes, gold flecks sprinkled through the rich green, like buttercups in a summer field. They blurred into a kaleidoscope of swirling colours, his own eyes welling up with tears as he reached up and covered Bunny’s hand with his own, turning his face towards it. He closed his eyes as Bunny thumbed his cheek, wiping away the escaped tears from under his eyes.

‘It’s still early,’ Bunny said. ‘Do you want to come back to bed?’

Jack exhaled, long and slow, collecting himself before he nodded, and allowed Bunny to gently lead him back to bed, his hand wrapped in Bunny’s. He dropped his hoodie on the way, and slid into bed tiredly.

Bunny followed him, tucking him in tight and drawing him in till he was flush up against Bunny’s chest, his knees curled up with Bunny’s tucked under them. Jack pressed in closer to him, squeezing his eyes shut as Bunny’s arms wrapped around his waist, holding him close. He nuzzled at the crook of Jack’s neck where it met his shoulder, his breath tickling Jack’s skin when he exhaled tiredly, stifling a yawn.

‘I’m sorry,’ Jack murmured, turning his face towards the pillow.

‘It’s okay,’ Bunny replied. ‘Not much of a morning person m’self.’

Jack smiled despite himself, and he felt Bunny share it, his muzzle brushing against the curve of his shoulder in the closest semblance to a kiss he could manage. 

The tension ebbed from Jack, the panic and fear disappearing as the room brightened, the cold grey blue light turning to warm golden rays lighting up the simple bedroom he shared with Bunny. He inhaled gently, his eyelids growing heavy as he watched the dust particles dance in the light through the window, feeling Bunny’s arm tighten around him as he drifted off to sleep the morning away.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to visit me over on [tumblr](http://aluxra.tumblr.com)


End file.
